Approach to post Independence India - Raj Kapoor and Guru Dutt

While travelling in a car, I heard an almost forgotten 'Dil ka haal sune dilwala' playing on the FM. The simple lyrics of the song and the eternal image of the very own Indian tramp/vagabond Raj Kapoor make the song immortal. While I was listening to the words carefully, I suddenly realised we don't anymore have songs that laugh about our troubles.

This song actually talks about an encounter that the protagonist had with the police. The last two paragraphs of the song, talk alternatively about hope for the future and precautions the poor have to take to stay out of trouble in a country like ours. What struck me was that nowadays we just don't see a song that sounds so happy but actually talks about the degeneration of the society. The song is all about laughing at and along with your troubles, but telling it like it is - seedhi si baat na mirchi masala...

Kapoor's tramp was besieged with problems but always hoped for a better tomorrow. He complained about the system, but believed 'Woh subah kabhi toh aayegi'. The fifties were a time of optimism in the new republic of India. And so despite the poverty, the problems, people felt the end of the British era would surely bring some positive change. Raj Kapoor's protagonist knew he could do better, but he didn't resent where he was in the moment. It was not resignation, but a kind of calm acceptance - Jeena Isi Ka Naam Hai. His movies showed an imperfect world which was still ideal and in the end, all was well.

Contrast that to Kapoor's contemporary Guru Dutt, who also told it like it is, but offered no hope. He was a realist, almost to the point of pessimism. His view of independent India is best described in the song from Pyaasa, Jinhen naaz hai hind pe woh kahaan hai... A scathing report of the actual state of the country which everyone had thought would once again become the golden bird after independence. The song is bitter and harsh. The picturisation equally grim.

Dutt's look at the whole situation was one of cold observation and his films also reflected the all or nothing perfectionism of his life. His most famous protagonists were always struggling to come to terms with lost hopes and dreams while facing an indifferent world. What is striking about a song like Jinhen Naaz or Ye Mahalo ye takhton is the loss of innocence. No other film maker of his times would have let these immortal words by the lyricist Sahir be part of a film. Even the happy go-lucky songs like Ae dil hai mushkil jeena yahaan sing of the isolation capitalism brings in. While Dutt's earlier movies show the urban India in the 50's crime, romance et all, his later movies, considered to be classics are the ones that show the eventual decline in human relationships, the effects of capitalism and the impact of a loss of idealism.

While Raj Kapoor's protagonist though aware of the flaws of the system, is more concerned about how he can progress despite them and maintain a personal optimism. Guru Dutt on the other hand is the idealist who doesn't see the point of optimism if things are not the way they should be. But thanks to the two of them, we can see a fair enough portrayal of the whole spectrum of nationalism of a young nation.

Judge not and ye shall not be judged?

IHM asked a question on her blog Why do women judge other women. To me this is interesting psychologically, because the kind of judges I am going to describe are peculiar. These are the 'been there done that' ones. Somewhat like abuse victims turning abusers.

So if you have had an abusive mother in law, instead of being kind towards your daughter in law, you will treat her badly too. And you will use excuses like this is how the traditions are to be passed on, there was a reason I was 'tamed' by my mother in law and so I will 'tame' my daughter in law too.

Sometimes the judgement isn't as simple however. Sometimes they try to be sympathetic and tell you how things should be. You hear statements like, you know one should 'adjust' (and I hear this more from women). You know these children today, they have too many expectations. These are people who have been 'victimised' but have rationalised it somehow and integrated it into their lives. So the very fact that you are not taking shit and are actually thinking of getting out of it becomes a mirror to them, a reflection that they can't stand. If you have noticed 'un'happily married women seem to make the loudest noise when someone else gets a divorce. These women then go on about how that girl was too modern to ever last in a family or give the famous line about how there are always going to be fights and that is no reason to end a marriage.

This type of judgement is not just restricted to women and family life. You find it in the work world too. Somehow anyone who does something different from the 'established' norm is wrong, too rebellious, immature etc etc. The ultimate argument always given is that the world is unfair and everyone has to live with that. To me when that comes from people who have the power to do something only shows their own selfishness, it is because the unfairness of the world is skewed in their favour that they do not want to change or that they are not willing to take responsibility for shaking up things.

Most of these 'victims' get a perverse, sadistic pleasure in seeing that someone else is going through the same shit. It indirectly validates their experience and every effort is made to stop the new person from breaking free, because once the new person breaks free, they have no justification for why they didn't do anything. Agreed, getting out of abuse is not easy, there are many considerations for victims sometimes. But if someone else is sticking their neck out, why pull the rug below their feet? Why not rejoice that atleast another person is not going to be in the same predicament as you? Why not wish them well? Maybe they can get out and you still can't but who said that it makes you wrong? Why not just accept that someone else's life is at the end of the day, someone else's life.

RIP Uncle Pai

Just a short note to the guy who taught me some of my first science lessons. Anant Pai or Uncle Pai as readers of Tinkle know him was the creator of fantastic characters like Shikari Shambhu, Suppandi and Tantri the Mantri. He also had these short pieces in every issue where he explained simple science that one could test at home. I had long wished he was asked to design our school text books, we could have learnt stuff that was more practical and also in a fun manner. Uncle Pai is also why I can almost fluently read Tamil and Malayalam. Having lived outside South India, it was reading Amar chitra katha in Tamil and Malayalam that helped me pick up the languages. It seems like an era has ended. Truly how wonderful a person you have to be to have influenced close to two generations. May you rest in peace uncle.

A childhood in gardens

Reading My Family and Other Animals was quite like a trip to my own childhood. While I was not that interested in insects as Gerry was, plants were always a source of wonder and joy. The earliest recollection I have of feeling this sort of wonder was when my cousins used to make a 'watch' for me with the long leaves of a coconut tree. At that time, we used to live in a small house with no space for a garden. So my exposure to plants was restricted to annual vacations to Kerala and the school garden.

Another source of wonder during my Kerala visits was this tree that had leaves of an odd maple kind of shape if I remember correctly. When you pluck the leaf from the tree, you would see this gum like thing oozing out. My father showed me this trick. After you pluck the leaf, try to separate the leaf from the stem right at the point that it meets the leaf, however take care not to distend it completely, just about enough for you to see that gum like substance. Then just blow and voila, bubbles emanate from the leaf. I kid you not, I have seen this, done this. How I wish I knew what that tree is called, I dont even remember the exact shape of the leaves to identify the tree anymore! Kerala also meant to me the land of touch me nots. A favourite pastime used to be going to the backyard of my grandmother's place, where there was long bed of touch me nots. Start from the beginning and keep on walking on all of them till all the leaves folded and by the time I reached the end, some of the leaves in the beginning would have opened again. The other joys in Kerala were plucking tropical fruits like Love apples, Arinellikai (a type of very small amla, very khatta, you get them at Mumbai bus stops too), mangoes, collecting the coconuts that would fall off at the seed stage itself, green and small. Every vacation was about new discoveries till the fireflies heralded the dark.

Back at school there was this tall eucalyptus tree. Now the eucalyptus sheds something that looks like a mini fool's cap. All of us students used to fill our pencil boxes and empty nashta boxes with these 'topis' and we would take them home. Some of my friends had used these topis as decorative items for craft projects. Some of us just collected them and made imaginary castles and barricades with them. One of the things I used to do was collect the topis and the sticky upper part of ladies finger and try various permutations and combinations of arrangements. Sounds silly now, but was quite entertaining then. Another plant in school had these peculiar seeds which were a source of great amusement to all of us. If soon after plucking the slightly dried brown seeds, you put them in a bowl of water, the seeds would explode like mini crackers. All this experimentation continued till the school authorities changed and students were asked not to touch any plants on campus. Quite the spoilsport our principal was we thought!

By now we had moved to our new home. Here we had ample space. My mother loves gardening and soon we had 5 colours of roses, many shades of sevanti, sunflowers whose seeds parrots would come and pick, mogras and many other flowers. The land was very fertile and I have seen tomatoes, water melons, passion fruit, brinjals, chillies, mangoes, pomegranates and even wheat shoots grow at home. These are experiences that I wouldnt trade for anything. Here in Mumbai, there isnt much of an opportunity to experience all that. The closest one can get is to go to agro-tourism spots like Saguna Farms in Neral, to see for yourself how things take root and grow. I may be wrong, but somehow I feel that one needs to experience such things as a child, thats the time when you still are capable of feeling wonderment at the things nature has to offer. Everyone I believe should have their own version of Malgudi days, what say?

Lessons learnt from the first job

Just got this video yesterday on Facebook So You Want to Be a Journalist. Was absolute hilarious fun watching the exchange between a wannabe journalist and a seasoned journalist and any journalist worth his or her salt would say that they did behave like the kid in the video at one time or the other. Then another FB contact started a thread on the silly mistakes everyone made in their first few months. This finally prompted me to write on something I have been thinking of writing, that of my learnings from my first experience as a working professional. The idea had come to me after I was called by my alma mater SIMC for a lecture, but somehow I never got down to writing it down. So here goes :

Lesson 1 : Your boss is not your teacher/mentor

All throughout our school and college life, we have guides, we have encouraging people around us (yes even in the worst places there is atleast one teacher who inspires you). But that doesnt extend to the workplace. I am not saying that your bosses will be mean, discouraging people; all I am saying is that they won't take decisions for your 'higher' good or give you opportunities so that you would 'learn'. The basis of their decisions would be based on other factors like company policy, equations with others in the organisation, their perceptions/prejudices and if you are lucky you will have a purely objective boss, but even then he/she won't be there to coax you into learning the ways of the trade and make it easier for you to adapt. That is totally upto you. So please don't get discouraged that they don't seem to be acting as nice, fatherly figures. Not happening.

Lesson 2 : Nothing is personal
This is a tough cookie and stumps most of us. Say someone is cutting you at work, someone is being mean to you, realise that this is not about you. It says more about them than about you, so don't take anyone else's bad behaviour personally. Its not about you, its about them. They are behaving badly because they think that is the easiest or best way for them to succeed. Let's face it, at the core of it, all of us think only about the best for our own selves. So take that as a given and if there is a difficult situation try to work around it in a different way rather than feel bad about this person who is out to get you.

Lesson 3 : A litte self promotion is needed

This is where I struggle myself a lot, but I have seen that it always helps. Don't make a hue and cry about how much work you do, but make a few subtle suggestions for sure. You need to make yourself heard, don't be a wallflower.

Lesson 4 : The praise in the first few months doesn't mean much

At this time you are new, the company yet doesn't know what you are worth or how much you can deliver. This is the honeymoon phase for both you and the company. Whatever you bring to the table might seem great and there might be mails flying about what a great job you are doing. But then after a few months it will cool down and people might start finding holes in your work. Don't panic, it just means that whatever you did till now, was being treated like your first outing. The criticism coming now will only help you grow and only means they expect more from you.

Lesson 5 : Think long term
Whatever you do, whether you stick around, switch jobs, work harder, don't work at all, whatever you do, try to keep the long term in mind. Its especially tough in jobs like journalism, where every day is a new day but still look at the bigger picture of how what you do today will help you later on. Don't just stitch the sails to keep the boat from rocking today, get money to buy new ones.

Lesson 6 : Remember this job is your dream not that of the company

It helps to remember why you are here in the first place. In most cases, we are the ones who decided we want to take this career path. So it is our dream and not someone else's. The responsibility for its trajectory therefore lies with us. There will be people who will try to put you down, there will be people trying to mislead you, there will be people who will think that you are not worth making it. Forget all that, what is important is what you think. Remember these people were not the ones who made you decide to study hard and choose this particular job. You did it on your own, so when you decided where you are right now on your own, you are the one who will decide where you will go from here. Yes, there are people who are more powerful in the hierarchical system and it can seem that you are but a pawn, yes there will be things that you might have to do that you don't particularly fancy, but the final choice in everything lies with you.

But going after your dream doesn't mean that you just do what you like without considering the larger mission of the organisation. You do have to align yourself with the company's mission and culture, your progress should not be at the cost of the overall good of everyone on your team. All I mean is that you can't be sitting and blaming the company or its policies for why you didn't succeed. Either you work around it or find another path that fulfills your goals. Buddhism says there are only three choices in life 1. Change the situation by talking it out, 2. Accept the situation or 3. Leave.

Lesson 7 : There will be people who compare you to others to get a rise out of you

Hopefully this is not your boss :-) Many people try to compare you to someone else of the same league, my only suggestion to this is, adopt what most successful people I have seen in my short career span have done. If there is some area which you acknowledge you need to work more on it, try a course correction there, but don't take the comparison personally. Try what you can, but don't change who you are. You are unique, as cliched as it sounds and despite how much other people might try to convince you otherwise, there is something of YOU, something no one else has, that you will bring to your work. Don't get reactionary to the comparison.

Lesson 8 : Your GK scores don't make you automatically eligible for special consideration at work
This has happened to some very close friends. They are good writers, they read voraciously, they know all that is happening and make intelligent conversation. They can write wonderful essays on just about anything. But that doesn't impress their companies enough to give all the important work to them. Some of them become disgruntled idealists, blaming the system and mediocre seniors (they might actually be, but that's not the point) for their lack of progress. Please don't fall into this trap of blame, it only harms you. You have to realise that people want to see that vast reserve of GK being applied somehow to your job and once you start doing that, the work will pour in. Unless you show it in your work, your seniors aren't going to appreciate it. The workplace is not someplace where you will get a certificate for your general knowledge or witty reparties. Doesn't mean you kill that part of you, just try to apply it to your work or keep that separate from work.

Lesson 9 : You are more than your work
As we spend a lot of time at work, we sometimes come to associate all of our existence, its success and failures with our work. Work is of course important, as it pays the bills, but remember you were a person before the work came along, you are still a person after it. Sometimes competition has a way of making one feel inadequate, inefficient and these feelings spill on to other parts of your life. Sometimes the people around you maybe myopic enough not to see what a brilliant person you are, but that means nothing. All of us have instrinsic value that shines through at the most unexpected times and others can live in denial of it, but the truth is it exists. Don't let anyone convince you that you are nothing if you have not conformed to a particular idea of success. Who knows, you are probably the one who is going to set new standards? So stick to what you know of yourself, don't let anyone tell you what you are or how much you are worth because frankly only you know that best. You need not seek complete approval from the clique at work, you are only answerable to yourself and your near and dear one sometimes.

Ok, so now the sermon is over. And yes, I wrote this not just to answer some questions people asked me, but also to reiterate to myself what I have learnt. Anyone else who has any other suggestions to add, especially the ones who already have spent many more years than I have, please add to the list.

The Chinese attack

We keep reading about Chinese policies that could be a threat to India, how the Chinese are competing with us on outsourcing, how they are taking away our trade and various other ways in which they undermine us or attack us. But all these discussions leave out the one single thing that has probably affected the normalcy of India the most - the Chinese mobile. You know the ones with flashy flip open technology available in the most garish shades?

The fact that they are so affordable, makes it easy for every Bunty and Babli to own one. Now, I dont have much against affordable access to technology, but just look at what a nuisance they are sometimes. If you are in Mumbai, you would get what I am saying. No train/bus ride of yours is free of the screeching loud sound of Himesh, Altaf Raja and whoever you find irritating playing from three different mobiles of some tapori or the other (yes, they are mostly owned by the taporis, sorry for being classist here).

Ok, maybe this is just my personal problem. So let me give you another example. Whenever there is any tragedy in Mumbai, be it 26/11 or a riot or a fire, you have all the rescue operations in place. A lot of localites also help the rescue authorities and the media with getting access to these unreachable spots. But there is another section of localites who are busy clicking away or capturing videos of towers going into flames. These wannabe photographers compete with rescue workers for the best vantage point, so that they can click this sensational picture and brag about it at the bar or nukkad ka paanwala the next day. I do understand if there is no media present and you become a citizen journalist and really want to expose some problem during the relief and rescue or any wishy washyness of the authorities that only you are witness to. But what is this madness about clicking a picture of a raging inferno just because you happen to see it while you are walking on a skywalk close to it. Why create problems for the security agencies by crowding a disaster site clicking pictures for your personal collection?

Is there some way to ban Chinese mobiles in India? Can Jairam Ramesh find some reason to do so?

Is sexual abuse gender specific?

The wonderful IHM has again written about a topic I have been thinking a lot about in the last few years. This is her take on male sexual abuse. And while I was going through the comments, I found another gem where a male adult talks about what happened to him.

Over the years, the stories I have heard about male sexual abuse have amazed me for their lack of clarity and ease with which those who have been 'lucky' or 'male enough' to escape it deride those who could not. There are also the myths. One of them is that its the sexually frustrated auntie who might have done it. The other bigger one is that it is someone who is part of the LGBT community who did it. Well truth is, more often than not, it is just someone who is a sexual bully who does it to the boy who probably didnt even know such a thing existed. Most easy victims are the ones who havent yet explored their sexuality arent they? Also it ensures that the victim wont talk about it out of fear. A sexual predator is a sexual predator, period, regardless of his/her orientation.

The problem with the male victim is he cant say it happened to him, not that it is easier for the girl to say, but just that society has a mentality that such things dont happen to men. If it was part of the hostel ragging, then admitting to it is facing ridicule from the rest of the gang. And oh, the 'man enough' crowd would always wonder why you couldnt fight your way out of it. The sad part is that the male victim might get a similar reaction even from close family. It is similar to how the 'girl must have invited it', in case of a guy, it is 'why didn't he fight it'. Rarely do victims of either gender find someone compassionate and understanding enough to help them soothe the pain.

The 'man enough' or 'woman enough' crowd has another allegation too. After the victim talks, suddenly they start viewing him differently, looking for signs of homosexuality. This I have found particularly revolting. I have heard quite a few comments about 'you know that incident has altered him', 'you see how he is more feminine' etc etc. For God's sake, sexual orientation is not infectious. The trouble is it is very difficult for men and some women to digest that a man can do this to another man. As I read somewhere this is because you cant blame the boy for inviting it. Suddenly you stare at the stark reality that a sexual abuser is just a vicious bully, that it is not about sex but about domination. That is a harder pill to swallow, the basic evil of anyone's mind. So we choose the easy way out as always, blame the victim. We wonder why he couldnt fight, we wonder if he has turned gay.

Truth is we dont want him saying all these things, we dont want him exposing the evil and our silence towards it, so we have to make it about the victim. Truth is that some of you know it could have been you, but dont want that reminder and so shun him. Truth also probably is that you might have your own reasons to side with the perpetrator. And truth also is that you know that the victim is so scarred already, ashamed of what happened to him already, that he wont challenge your gossip. Makes you feel powerful doesnt it? Wonder who really is 'man enough' there.

P.S. Yes, it is an angry post and I dont care what prejudice you want to form about me for saying this.